Surrender

Ever have something on your mind but you don’t know how to put it into words? I’ve been going through that ever since I’ve arrived back to the United States. It has taken me three full months to process and put into words what God has been teaching me and showing me. The other night I was reading Hosea when I found this verse Hosea 10:13 “..you have eaten the fruit of deception. Because you have depended on your own strength…”. Wow doesn’t that just hit your heart? I know it hit my heart and it’s exactly what God’s been teaching me these past few months. Right before I came home I was unsure of what this season would be like and as I sought God I felt him tell me that this season was going to be a season of surrender; surrender of my plans, surrender of my heart, surrender of my desires; surrender of everything.

It surprises me how simple the concept of surrender is but how hard it is to truly surrender. I know for me there are so many things I just get tired of trying to do myself that I let it go and surrender it up to God and let him take care of it only to find, in most cases, that after a while I want to pick it right back up and try my hand at it again because God’s timing is too slow for me or I start to doubt when I see God doing something different with the things I surrendered.

Several weeks ago I was at a bible study and the speaker asked us to close our eyes and image ourselves surrendering whatever it was we felt we needed to surrender to God on a silver platter. I’m just going to be very honest right now and say that the thing God has asked me to surrender these past several months are my plans. I have so many ideas of what I want to do with my life that sometimes I get ahead of God and decide without him that that is what I am called to do only to find that he shuts the door and has other plans. I love God and this past year taught me that whatever I do in life I want to do something that makes an impact in this world and above all I want to live the calling God has for me. My heart is ministry but I love every kind of ministry I’ve ever tried so as I was at this bible study I imagined holding up my plans and my desires and my heart for my life on a silver platter

I’m not sure what is happening with my future and this process is showing me that I don’t need to stress myself out because God is there to direct my path. Proverbs 3:6 “in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

I’m learning to let God be the author of my steps and the one to direct me where he wants me. I’m learning to surrender not only my life, desires and heart but surrender to his timing and his call for my life. He will let me know all I need to know when it is time. While I wait though I am seeing that every day is part of my calling. Every day is a day to be his hands, his feet, his voice, his love, his truth, his grace, his forgiveness.  Don’t get overwhelmed with trying to figure life out, just be used by him every day and trust him to direct your path.